Homeless For The Holidays
Let's be real here....holidays can be really tough for a lot of people. Many face hopelessness and depression because of grief/loss and financial woes. It's also that time of the year when many look at all they haven't accomplished over the course of the year. As I sit at my computer typing this, I'm facing a major surgery in a couple of days. I haven't been able to work all year due to health issues. Let me encourage you right here: H. O. P. E. (Hold On Pain Ends) You can't give up. I haven't given up. Yes, the days get hard, and I feel like GOD isn't always listening because he is quiet. However, I take my mind back to all of the horrible things that HE has brought me through already. Five years ago, I was dying. I am still alive, and I was able to write a book about that experience. It's called "Broken For The Promise." I have also overcome domestic violence, rejection, anger/bitterness, abandonment, emotional trauma, and so much more. GOD has been good to me. He has stood by me in every situation. Just when I thought it was over, HE stepped in and let me know that he had me in his hand the whole time.
Now back to my original story. Three years ago, my family and I became homeless due to a sudden job layoff. It happened in late summer/early fall of 2012. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My husband called to tell me that he had been "pink-slipped." Terrence was formerly a lab manager for the University of Michigan Cancer Center. He had worked there for six years prior to the layoff. We weren't prepared for this whammy. We were still recovering from all of the medical bills from my illness. I was healing, but I wasn't fully recovered from my condition. I had decided to enroll in a master's program that I could complete from home. My first mind was to drop school, and go back to full-time work. Terrence wouldn't let me because he knew that I really wanted to become a principal. We knew that God has orchestrated this moment in time because everything concerning my education had just fallen into place. I don't think that either one of us anticipated this unemployment ordeal being so long and painful.
We were living in a 2-bedroom apartment in Michigan at the time. Our lease was up for renewal. We had a choice of renewing it at the current rate or going to a month-to-month rate. Of course, the month-to-month rate was higher. After calculating my husband's unemployment checks, we were unable to keep up with a rent. We got behind and a court date was set. We reached out for help to pay the back rent while still trying to find a way to keep our place. It just wasn't working out the way we wanted it to. Finally, we took a deep breath and started packing our stuff. The moving truck was reserved, and we were on our way. We didn't have a permanent place so we started staying in hotels. Then there were a few friends that shared their spaces with us. I was working part-time at my college to help out. Terrence was going on job interviews almost everyday of the week, but nothing was coming through. Unemployment checks were still coming, but they weren't enough to cover our living expenses while trying to save money for a permanent place.
My husband finally brought up the final option that we had somehow avoided for awhile. Moving in a family shelter. When he told me, my heart sank to my shoes. I felt sick to my stomach. I was embarrassed and ashamed. However, I knew that we were on this path that would eventually make sense to us at a later date. Living in the shelter would provide us with meals and a room to ourselves. The case workers would also help us with job placement. We would be able to save more money At this point, Terrence has secured a position in loss prevention at a retail store. The decision made sense, but it just didn't feel easy at the moment. To be quite honest, I was terrified. A staff member from the shelter called us a week after Thanksgiving 2012. We moved in and completed our intake that evening.
The experience of living in a shelter was unpleasant. Sometimes I had to dig deep to find things to be thankful for and positive about concerning our situation. Terrence was working every evening until late. Our son, Joshua, and I were left on our own. I was still completing my assignments from school. My grades hadn't dropped. I would go for long car rides to see the really nice houses in town. I used that time to stretch my vision beyond where we were currently residing. We met some really nice Christian families who also lived in the shelter. There were single moms who approached me for advice and encouragement. Several churches/organizations visited the shelter and brought special food & gifts. We were residents of the shelter for about three months before we were able to move out. After moving out, we relocated to Ohio. God gave us a new beginning, and we were able to rebuild from the job loss.
The lessons that I learned from being homeless will follow me for the rest of my life. I've learned how to be thankful for my basic needs. I've gained real compassion for other people's hurts/losses. I've also learned that I can't go through life dealing with my pain through anger. Anger solves nothing and causes you to lose your power. Also, you can't numb your pain with sex, drugs/alcohol. When you become sober again, you still have those issues staring you in the face along with new ones that you created from very unwise behavior. I've also learned that I can't have complete control over my life. That is God's job. It's too stressful for me to keep up with, GOD knows me a whole lot better than I know myself. I've also learned how to be more resourceful with my time, energy, and money.
If you are homeless or going through other hard things right now, don't beat yourself up. You are not alone. Sometimes life deals us a blow that wasn't our fault. We didn't see it coming. However, every storm runs out of rain. Our hard trial was three years ago, and things are so much better now. I didn't cry over what we lost, but I rejoiced over what we gained. I'm also thankful that my marriage outlasted the storm. My husband and I are closer. Yes, we had our moments of frustration, but our love for each other overpowered the pain of loss.
Just like us.....restoring, renewing, and refreshing times will be your portion as well. Hold on, friend.
Now back to my original story. Three years ago, my family and I became homeless due to a sudden job layoff. It happened in late summer/early fall of 2012. I remember that day like it was yesterday. My husband called to tell me that he had been "pink-slipped." Terrence was formerly a lab manager for the University of Michigan Cancer Center. He had worked there for six years prior to the layoff. We weren't prepared for this whammy. We were still recovering from all of the medical bills from my illness. I was healing, but I wasn't fully recovered from my condition. I had decided to enroll in a master's program that I could complete from home. My first mind was to drop school, and go back to full-time work. Terrence wouldn't let me because he knew that I really wanted to become a principal. We knew that God has orchestrated this moment in time because everything concerning my education had just fallen into place. I don't think that either one of us anticipated this unemployment ordeal being so long and painful.
We were living in a 2-bedroom apartment in Michigan at the time. Our lease was up for renewal. We had a choice of renewing it at the current rate or going to a month-to-month rate. Of course, the month-to-month rate was higher. After calculating my husband's unemployment checks, we were unable to keep up with a rent. We got behind and a court date was set. We reached out for help to pay the back rent while still trying to find a way to keep our place. It just wasn't working out the way we wanted it to. Finally, we took a deep breath and started packing our stuff. The moving truck was reserved, and we were on our way. We didn't have a permanent place so we started staying in hotels. Then there were a few friends that shared their spaces with us. I was working part-time at my college to help out. Terrence was going on job interviews almost everyday of the week, but nothing was coming through. Unemployment checks were still coming, but they weren't enough to cover our living expenses while trying to save money for a permanent place.
My husband finally brought up the final option that we had somehow avoided for awhile. Moving in a family shelter. When he told me, my heart sank to my shoes. I felt sick to my stomach. I was embarrassed and ashamed. However, I knew that we were on this path that would eventually make sense to us at a later date. Living in the shelter would provide us with meals and a room to ourselves. The case workers would also help us with job placement. We would be able to save more money At this point, Terrence has secured a position in loss prevention at a retail store. The decision made sense, but it just didn't feel easy at the moment. To be quite honest, I was terrified. A staff member from the shelter called us a week after Thanksgiving 2012. We moved in and completed our intake that evening.
The experience of living in a shelter was unpleasant. Sometimes I had to dig deep to find things to be thankful for and positive about concerning our situation. Terrence was working every evening until late. Our son, Joshua, and I were left on our own. I was still completing my assignments from school. My grades hadn't dropped. I would go for long car rides to see the really nice houses in town. I used that time to stretch my vision beyond where we were currently residing. We met some really nice Christian families who also lived in the shelter. There were single moms who approached me for advice and encouragement. Several churches/organizations visited the shelter and brought special food & gifts. We were residents of the shelter for about three months before we were able to move out. After moving out, we relocated to Ohio. God gave us a new beginning, and we were able to rebuild from the job loss.
The lessons that I learned from being homeless will follow me for the rest of my life. I've learned how to be thankful for my basic needs. I've gained real compassion for other people's hurts/losses. I've also learned that I can't go through life dealing with my pain through anger. Anger solves nothing and causes you to lose your power. Also, you can't numb your pain with sex, drugs/alcohol. When you become sober again, you still have those issues staring you in the face along with new ones that you created from very unwise behavior. I've also learned that I can't have complete control over my life. That is God's job. It's too stressful for me to keep up with, GOD knows me a whole lot better than I know myself. I've also learned how to be more resourceful with my time, energy, and money.
If you are homeless or going through other hard things right now, don't beat yourself up. You are not alone. Sometimes life deals us a blow that wasn't our fault. We didn't see it coming. However, every storm runs out of rain. Our hard trial was three years ago, and things are so much better now. I didn't cry over what we lost, but I rejoiced over what we gained. I'm also thankful that my marriage outlasted the storm. My husband and I are closer. Yes, we had our moments of frustration, but our love for each other overpowered the pain of loss.
Just like us.....restoring, renewing, and refreshing times will be your portion as well. Hold on, friend.
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